Thursday, August 14, 2014

The Garden Gnomes have the Police Rock!

So, over the summer, the husband and I created a 5-year garden plan for the yard. This autumn, we are taking our first steps towards farming our half acre by planting our bushes and trees and acquiring a few things that I will need to save a summer harvest.

Better living through produce!

It is nice to know that large portions of my grocery bill will be reduced through homegrown eggs, veggies, and fruits. I am learning to make desserts using fres fruit, I still need to learn about jam, and I want to collect more vintage WW2 cookbooks and books on canning and preserving. Combining the wartime missives with the urban homesteading, and I'm about ready for a global Postman style apocalypse.

I used to be famous.

Of course, it is a five year plan. So patience will be a virtue. Then again, so will not having a crippling fear of snakes. You see, there is already a bush growing in the spot where I want to grow a peach tree. Unfortunately, it is defended by the fact that it is an excellent snake habitat. I saw a brown ribbon snake sauntering back under the bush as though he owned the place. Being a snake, he does.

Thug life.

But I will have to have the husband evict him and take down this overgrown monster of a bush. It's true, I suppose that a large part of our yard overhaul consists of deforestation and herbicidal mania, but in the long run, not having to mow an uneven half acre will be nice and having all the fancy home grown, organic, open pollinated, home prepared foods means that I will be able to fit in better with the parents at the private school.

Why no, I don't pass gas, but if I did, my flatulence would smell of Japanese orchids.

I'm kidding. There are a few others, like us, who are just normal working class and lower middle class parents who have to get our kids out of public school. I just wish we didn't have to go to this extreme just for our kid to get into college. But common core and no child left behind really did damage the schools--at least here. We don't really need schools designed by committee, we need standards designed by teachers with some parent input. After that, if little Cletus can't read, maybe they just aren't suited for greatness...

... or college.

Well, back to the laundry mines!